The way I am

2012-01-13T13:14:00.003+08:00

Teruntuk Bungaku..
ku dengar panggilmu aku tau kau rindu mengejar mimpi-mimpi yang berarti agar bahagia hidup kita nanti
Bungaku ku rasakan kesedihanmu kesedihan akan rindu kehadiranku...
mencoba hayati hadirmu disini
mencoba bertahan dalam kerinduan ini
suatu masa kita akan bertemu
melepaskan rasa rindu di hati
karna kaulah yang takan pernah terganti...

ehmm.. thats a puisi created for me.. who else who can write such stuff.. its my fb bro, yeah he's a really nice person.. but dont worry, we're friends and we act like bro and sister hahaa.. he wrote for me this after i sent him the lyrics of the Lion Story song..

i miss Ashev.. he's in hospital, thats what i knew of.. co his status said he was sick, so i smsed him to get well soon. and he said thanks and was at the hospital, waiting for his turn. apparently, he fainted when he was at a store.. poor him.. i guess he's tired and overwork :( you shld see his working hours, its crazy! he has to work uneven time of the day, sometimes nigh, morning or afternoon.. and he'll be very tired cos he has a lot of work to do.. also, he is being paid kinda lower amount than we, singaporeans, are paid here in our country. indonesia and singapore aint the same.. i pity him.. :( there is really a widening income gap in the world.. hahaa im going economics on you guys :P but yeah..

2012-01-12T15:40:00.002+08:00

Sempena hari mulia Ini,
Aku tersenyum lalu mengimbasi kembali,
Semua yang kerap kita mengadukan,
Kini jadi bahan rindu yang ku simpan… ...
Detik masa kini kedengaran,
Aku mengucap selamat jalan,
Kepada teman yang sering menghibur dengan gurauan…
Ku hargai semua yang terjadi,
Memang nyata dirimu takkan ada pengganti,
Semoga kita dapat bertemu semula,
Kerana aku yakin engkau akan sentiasa
Di hatiku…..

Lagu teman by The Lion Story ft Zahidah

2011-12-27T12:22:00.001+08:00

i have a fund, or aka piggy bank.. i made it out of a printer ink box.. and i cant upload the pic cos its in my phone and i dont have its usb cable.. anyways, the fund is called TSAFund :D To See Ashev Fund :D yeah i m saving to see him one day, insyaallah ^_^

2011-12-27T12:12:00.001+08:00

hahaa i read all my past entries and this one caught my attention.. and entry in 2008.. i was so full of temper back then hahaa.. readthis :D

To all the people who is not happy with the Fat-Assed Librarian(FAB) in ESSS listen here!!!!!!!!

The FAB has kicked some of us out of the library for nonsensical reasons. I know some of you are not happy with her. Those who don't wish to put your hands into this matter, bloody hell fuck off. Okay, I plan to launch a petition to get a new librarian whose manners is greatly appreciated, unlike the FAB who is very rude to students and report them to the VP when they make little noise. If she can switch on her bloody radio loudly in her bloody office, why can't we make little noise when doing our schoolwork in the library? Don't tell me that we need not help each other's help when we don't know how to do a qn? Also, at the same time, we tend to talk about things that are not related to the subject a little, right? So, people who are with me, I need your support by writing in suggestions to the School Library. You can get the suggestion slip from my friend, write what you dislike about the librarian and put it in the blue suggestion box in the library. I need supporers, guys. The damn FAB just scolded me just because I sometimes talk to my friend when doing schoolwork and wanted to ban me from coming to the library during my free period. Like as if i want to go there but have no choice. Lame sia. It's not like as if i create a commotion there, dammit.

Anyway, Thank you for reading. Lol. FAB Suck to the deepest core. wish her bad luck in future to come

Yours Sincerely,
Sarcastic Critic

2011-12-19T14:31:00.002+08:00

A song for my situation..

After all these years
we've been so far
i dont know if
you still remember me

you've been long gone
i cant track you
making me hard to forget you

since the day you made that mark
right into my heart
for the first time in my love life

Chorus:
will we meet again?
will our paths be crossed?
will i get to see you all alone?
if i do see you, how will i be feeling?
should i smile or cry?
i missed you so much when
everytime i think of you
i regret what i've done,
im sorry, i cant forget you

Do you know how hard it is
to get you out of my mind?
every guy i look reminds me of you
i really wish to see you one day
how you're doing in yr life
then, i'll try to move on..

since the day you made that mark
right into my heart
for the first time in my love life

Chorus

if fate let us be together,
we can overcome this distance
and i can erase you from my mind
why, di i want, you to be in front of me,
holding onto my heart?

Chorus

2011-12-14T11:45:00.002+08:00

this is what my good friend on facebook said, when i told him why i wanna leave facebook..

"..relakanlah yg sudah berlalu..
ingatlah bahwasanya Allah akan menggantikanya yg lebih baik..
dan ingatlah bahwa disini ada teman2Mu yang selalu menyayangiMu.
janganlah kau berubah hanya karna 1 orang.
apalagi orang itu telah tak perdulikan kamu lagi.
Tersenyumlah dinda hadapi kehidupan ini dengan tegar janganlah jadi orang yang lemah.
karna masih ada teman2 kamu yang masih setia kepadamu.
lupakan masa lalu walaupun itu susah taph seiring berjalanya waktu rasa itu perlahan tapi pasti akan sirna.
dan bukalah lembaran baru kehidupanMu dan mulailah isi kembali hidupmu dengan warna dan keceriaan..
mulailah dari senyum..
smile...

^_^

tetaplah ceria hadapi hidup ini dengan tegar dan selalu tawaqal pada Allah.."

at least someone care, besides my best friend and family..

but i still dunno if i should leave facebook or not

still undecided yoo

2011-12-13T14:30:00.002+08:00

Im leaving facebook

Im serious this time, i aint joking yo. im leaving facebook bcos.. it made me sad.. ironic that its supposed to connect people together and make them happy... but for these past few months.. counting from May 2011, my life in facebook has been filled with some anguish and sadness.. because when i go there, im reminded of the beautiful memories i once had.. and i had to lose it.. and i had tried to bring those back.. apparently, i failed several times.. maybe i cant accept that i have to move on.. maybe bcos i cant forgive for what i have done to hurt the man i love.. maybe he can forgive me, but i never forgive myself.. thats why i keep going back to the past.. trying to amend the lost relationship.. i've tried and tried.. and i failed.. i kept quiet and hid all misery to myself.. and i still fail.. i waited and waited in silence for that chance.. i got the chance but i failed to amend it.. and now i've lost it.. again.. he doesnt talk to me anymore, doesnt make war with me, doesnt joke with me, doesnt laugh with me, doesnt play tricks on me anymore.. :( when he was away from facebook, i tried to locate him elsewhere on the virtual world, and encouraged him to go back to facebook so that his friends doesnt miss him.. and i missed in on FB too.. but now.. its never the same.. its all my fault.. why did i ever do that stupid mistake to hurt him so much? why?

sometimes, there's this though in my brain.. maybe there's always this failure of love that runs in my family.. my mother and father dont agree with each other and went back together bcos of certain incidences.. Mashy has an on-off relationship with her New Zealander.. Maryam has a track record of failed love and infatuation with guys since aged 12 ; all short term relationship.. and me? i cant even keep the first love of my life with me.. im pathetic..

i guess i have to face reality eventually.. that he doesnt like me anymore.. and we can never be together no matter how much i tried and prayed.. i'll have to accept that sooner or later, maybe not now when im still depressed..

A thought: i always try my best to bring people that i love and care back to facebook.. especially if their friends are looking for them there. But now that im leaving facebook, would people bother to bring for me? would they even bother to look for me? DO YOU BOTHER TO CARE?

i doubt so.

Thanks.

i wish you all goodness in life.

just some lyrics that i quoted here..

Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
- Someone like you by Adele

Here I am.. Banging on your front door. My pride's spilled on the floor. My hands and knees are bruised. And I'm crawling back to you, begging for a second chance.

Are you gonna let me in? I was running from the truth
And now I'm crawling back to you

- Crawling back to you by Backstreet Boys

Take a breath, I pull myself together. Just another step till I reach the door. You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you. I wish that I could tell you something.. To take it all away

- Save You by Simple Plan

Empty spaces fill me up with holes. Distant faces with no place left to go. Without you, within me I can find no rest. Where I'm going is anybody's guess..
I tried to go on like I never knew you. I'm awake but my world is half asleep. I've prayed for this heart to be unbroken. But without you all I'm going to be , incomplete..

- Incomplete by Backstreet Boys

This last one is kinda inspirational for me.. i dunno about you all, if its inspirational to you.. but whatever.. its my blog

There'll come a day, when you'll walk out of my dreams face to face, Like I'm imagining. how can I be sure, that you're the one I'm waiting for..
Will you be Unmistakable?

-Unmistakable by Backstreet Boys

yeahh backstreetboys kinda inspirational yo.. you should listen to them.. i didnt realise that i have a lot of BSB songs in my mp3, besides Simple Plan

2011-11-29T11:56:00.002+08:00

I WANT SIMPLE PLAN T SHIRTS!!!!! :((((( :DDDD

I LOVE SIMPLE PLAN AND PIERRE BOUVIER

YAYAYAY THEY ARE COMING TO SINGAPORE :D

2011-11-29T11:52:00.000+08:00

My hEart Will never cHange.....

Ní bheidh mo chroí athrú <3

2011-10-29T19:54:00.002+08:00

Helloo..

iTs been a busy week with homeworks, assignments.. but otherwise im fine :) exams are like less than a month away! i must seriously stop playing games on my mobile hahaa.. i must improve my studies though.. i did badly for my statistics and my elective module.. and for RE module, i cant compromise although my results are quite okay.. I MUST DO WELL FOR MY EXAMS :) okay okay, stop playing games, Mardhiah.. hahaa

I've been through some rough times lately too.. what i have learnt is to reduce my talking.. my advices and opinions are unwanted and ignored.. so might as well i talk less from now on.. even if people ask me to give advice or judge, i wont say much if i know my comments are not well received and ignored.. its okay.. my father also tell me i must not comment anything about my sisters' doings.. and my mommy said that what i usually say are not realistic.. and my friends dont appreciate my comments and dont follow my advices. so i dont see the purpose of talking much.. :( and if people make mistakes, im going advice them, but if they dont listen, then im just gonna keep quiet..

KADANGKALA, BERDIAM ADALAH LEBIH BAIK DARI BERSUARA..

Adios, have a nice day all.. :)
You all can do whatever you think is best for you
:)

oh yeah, and note to self and people who find this useful:

Please try not to do things that you already expect what the consequences or answers are, especially if the answer is gonna hurt you or bring negative/uncomfortable changes to your life or the people around you...

2011-10-17T13:28:00.002+08:00

Custom Glitter Text

2011-10-17T13:08:00.002+08:00

IN MY OPINION..

Love between a man and women doesnt exist.
The kind of love I believe in are:
-> Love between my best friend and good friends
-> Love between my family
-> And love between me, Islam, Prophet Mhammad S.A.W and Allah

and nothing else.....

okay fine, love between me and Pierre Bouvier and my favourite bands exist :P

<3

REFLECTIONS

2011-10-17T12:50:00.002+08:00

Maybe its best to let go of certain things you cant handle
Maybe its best to let go things that always make you cry
Maybe its best to let go of things that hurt you
Maybe its best to delete certain people in yr life
Maybe its best to pack up and leave
Maybe its best to continue walking and not look back
Maybe its best to....
Just wish that all these 'Maybe' can be for reality..
Sure, its easy to say that you can let go, delete, pack up, leave, continue..
But can YOU really do it?
Can I DO IT?
No, i cant, its really not easy..
That's why i said "MAYBE"
Cos i may not mean it at all...

When will i ever forgive myself? Maybe you have forgiven me, but i'll never forgive myself for letting you down.. I really wanna make amends.. but it seems you have moved on.. its okay.. :(
When will i see "A**** S*** commented on yr status" or "posted on yr wall" or "Inbox(1)" from you..? I'll never see that again...

When will my mom be happy? I really wish she'll be happy one day.. i wanna make her happy.. Seeing how life has treated her makes me cry everytime.. Such a strong mother I have, SubahanAllah.. But Allah, i always pray You make my mom's life easier.. Please make my Doa' come true.. Please help me succed in life so that i can help my family and make my mommy happy again.. AMIN

I miss my best friend, Syahirah.. I wish i can meet her again.. I know there's a lot of things troubling her.. I wsih i could help; its the least i can do to return all her help towards me in the past.. I wanna make her a strong person.. but i hope that every challenge that she faces, she sees it as a strenght to move on from there instead of just a mistake.. Oh Allah, please give my best friend the strenght to undergo any challenges she faces in life.. May Allah kekalkan perhubungan kita sebaga sahabat selamanya.. AMIN

Switchfoot - Stars

2011-10-02T19:48:00.000+08:00

My favourite song :D

Lyrics | Switchfoot lyrics - Stars lyrics

GO away..

2011-09-19T14:48:00.002+08:00

Lalu airmata jatuh akhirnya, dengan tak sengaja engkau membuatku terumbang ambing di angkasa. Hancur musnah semua.. mimpiku hilang di angkasa
- Angkasa by Hady mirza

Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu, ku undur diri bersama harapan...
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita. Ku bawa harapanku pendam rahsia, ku di kejauhan mendoakan agar kau bahagia, tiada lagi duka. Dan ku rela mengundur diri.. :'(
- Harapan by Fazli Zainal

Secondhand Serenade- Last Time Lyrics

2011-09-13T12:23:00.000+08:00

So i'll sing this song to you, for the last time..
And my heart is torn in two...
Thinking of days spent without you....
and there is nothing elset prove...

Goodbye memories... :'(

2011-09-13T12:19:00.002+08:00

My Solitary Sanctuary

I hide my tears and sadness among every smile and laughter i potray...
I cry when im alone.. when no one can see my tears..
I cry when i listen to songs.. cos every song in my playlist seems to be tainted with memories of you...

I try to move on.. but efforts of letting go of the past has failed repeatedly..

But i have to.. cos you have moved on and found someone...
I wish you all the best...
may you last long with her..
may she be better than me in everything...
may she be the girl of your dreams that i never was...
may she be able to make you smile and laugh, better than I did...

I miss my banana head.. :'( there's no other banana heads i can ever find..
Just wanna tell you, you are one of the best thing that has ever happened to me...

you can delete that birthday video that i made for you if you want.. i dont mind... but dont ever delete me from yr friend list..

i promise i wont disturb you anymore...
i promise i'll go away to somewhere far far away....

stay happy always...

Thanks for all the good things you've brought into my life...
Thanks for all the memories.. i really cherish them...
goodbye... :'(

2011-09-13T11:42:00.003+08:00

and someday, i promise i'll be gone.
and i was crying alone tonight
and i was wasting all of my life just thinking of you...
MAYBE by Seconhand Serenade

you found someone new.. and its time for me to let go.. goodbye.. :'(

Boyzone - One more song lyrics

2011-09-13T11:17:00.000+08:00

ONE MORE SONG by BOYZONE

"Cos you make it real, and it gets hard to feel. if only you could only come back. i would give anything, just wanna hear you sing. if you could only come back, come back, for one more song.."

I wish to dedicate this song to a GOOD FRIEND i used to have.. but we lost her.. she left me and my best friends in order to be with other friends whom she deemed as 'friends who could bring her to the right path'.

Maybe we (my best friends and I) may have made mistakes, we may not be perfect or truly angelic.. but MY FRIEND, you are one GOOD FRIEND just like the rest.. and i know we cant always be there for you, but if ever, you need us back, we'll still be there for you..

I MISS YOU A LOT, FRIEND.. YOU WERE MY GOOD FRIEND, ADVISOR, DNT PROJECT MATE, THE FUNNY ONE, THE DRAMATIC ONE, AND MANY MORE WHICH BROUGHT GOOD MEMORIES WHEN I THINK OF YOU..

i still wish you didnt leave us.. :'( and Syahirah miss you so much.. If you could only be her best friend like before, I would give anything just to see her be happy like she was before with you...

We miss you so much, Dzulaiha Jumadi.. :'(

Simple Plan - Jet Lag ft. Natasha Bedingfield (Official Video)

2011-09-06T12:31:00.000+08:00

I LOVE PIERRE BOUVIER, HE IS MY BOYFRIEND SINCE I WAS 14. I LOVE YOU PIERRE BOUVIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND SIMPLE PLAN ROCKS TILL NOW WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MY HEART IS SO JET LAG BCOS OF YOU, PIERRE CHARLES BOUVIER

2011-09-06T12:26:00.001+08:00

this is my 3rd boyfriend, Jay from THe Wanted

this is my No. 1 boyfriend, pierre bouvier :D

Heartbreak

2011-09-06T12:09:00.003+08:00

Cos I dont ever wanna leave him alone, they say im brainwashed but im in love with this man. Keep telling myself that its not worth it, i already know i dont deserve this. But if its for you i dont mind hurting, this is my perfect nightare. so when will i wake up and scream NO WAY, NO WAY
- Perfect Nightmare, Shontelle

My playlist and favourite songs are tainted with memories of you and me. How do I listen to every song without thinking of you? Do i have to delete all my favourite songs just to move on? Too painful.. :'(

No you dont know what its like, to be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down and no one there's to save you. No you dont know what its like, Welcome to my Life..
- Wecome to my Life, Simple Plan

2011-09-06T10:48:00.003+08:00

ahh damn it.. i dont wanna get in between two people.. and there's some jealousy that i can sense.. damn... its tough when you are good friends with a guy.. and the guy's girl thinks you're taking away her guy from her. its not like that. I DO NOT TAKE PEOPLE'S BELONGINGS, BE IT IN TERMS OF THINGS, PETS OR HUMANS.. ESPECIALLY HUMANS. and now the girl is jealous, oh great. she confronted me on FB, asking how long ive met this guy. hello?? i only met him once and im trying not initiate another meet up cos i know there'll be jealousy.. damn what can i do? i must put myself far far away..

oh yeah, and im still emo-ing. maybe ill go emo but without the cutting hands thingy cos my best friend doesnt like it. and my mom may scold me again. im trying to get over the past okay? aint easy cos.. its just aint easy.. he doesnt talk to me or like my status anymore.. im sad but its okay... i guess he really can move on... but you know, my heart wont change.. ill never make it change.. i miss him :'( i wish he talks to me like last time... but he doesnt like me anymore... and i have decoded/translated what he said to his friend about me in my past status..
his friend said: this girl is still waiting for you
he said: let her wait until she realise
His friend: poor thing, that girl
He said: she's still fresh, she can find others..

:'(

The Wanted - All Time Low (Official)

2011-09-03T14:36:00.000+08:00

HOW DO YOU GET OUT FROM AN ALL TIME LOW.. :'(
HOW DO I CHOOSE BETWEEN MY HEAD AND HEART?

2011-08-05T11:36:00.002+08:00

my newest picture I drew and edited. im in emo mode currently..
i guess sometimes people dont return back feelings.. even if its someone who was previously in yr life..
i miss him.. i know theres no way he's comin back again into my life.. he has moved on and im still stuck here, waiting for a hope.. a useless hope but im still waiting.. after all its my fault.. i did my wrong.. and he was sad.. i guess this is my suffering too.. the mode of unable to move on..

"Where did i go wrong? i lost a friend somewhere along the bitterness"
- how to save a life by the fray

"I can fix all those lies. i run but im running to you. You wont see me cry, im hiding inside. my heart is in pain but im smiling for u. ill try to make things right"
- Stereo Love by Edward Maya

i miss him :'( and i still love him. i do. no other guy but him.

if i could turn back time, i would erase all my wrongdoings. i promise i wont repeat the same mistake again

I PROMISE YOU :'(

2011-08-05T11:34:00.002+08:00

All i make are mistakes
All i create are troubles
Can i ever do anything right?
Can i ever please people i care?

2011-06-29T12:05:00.003+08:00

Hellooooooo :D
i know its been a looong while since i last blogged, but whatever hahax.. anyway, today i did something. I signed up for a twitter account. okay fine, lame. but u gotta gimme credit in efforts to make a twitter account. hahax but im still a newbie at twitter.. it reminds me of the first time i signed up at facebook. i remembered that i refused to make FB and still hung up on Friendster. look what happened now, im a regular FBian. and my Friendster; i can hear a cricket sound down there hahax. oh yah, i just came back from FOC; Freshman Orientation Camp. Yeap im in uni now.. How far time flies. Im in Bachelor of Science (Real Estate), School of Design & Environment, NUS.. hahax.. so im back from my camp and im tanned.. damn i have to make myself fair again.. :/ aint easy you know.. hahax anyway, thats all.. adios people. take care and hope u have a nice day

ps and i still love you Ashev :P

Signing out,
MARDHIAHERE

2011-05-26T12:37:00.000+08:00

solitary moments

Graduation day

2010-10-08T10:33:00.000+08:00

Haha, i know it's been a super long time since i last blogged, haha!! I'm so busy nowdays haha!! But let me update u now

today's grad day, haha, my grad day in jc!! Yeah, how do i feel? I'm happy cos no more school, i'm sad cos i'm so gonna miss my teachers, friends and yjc (the rustic feeling, i mean), i'm scared cos A levels are nearing and i dunno if i am prepared for it, haiz.. Well, as they say, it's the final lap now and don't give up!! Yeah, i hope when i do my exams,i'm gonna leave the exam hall with no regrets :) yeah, to all my friends who are taking their major exams or pursuing anything new, all the best to future endeavours!! Mardhiah is always here for u if u ever need help, ya? :)

2010-05-06T16:06:00.003+08:00

Random lyrics

This feeling
I've been carrying i
tall around me
The effect of what
has happened in the past

Everytime you say the words
I simply look at you
Wishing that someday
I could say them back to you
Cos the past haunt me
Making me so scared
Afraid to face the past again

2010-01-21T15:18:00.006+08:00

School has started and i tell you, it's NO FUN. Loads to study and crap.. yeah.. and i find sch this year a bit crappy.. and Sya, you know me too well to know that i enjoy going to sch.. Now, i simply don't..haiz.. and as my 3rd sis said to me, " School is no fun place to be and you've just realised it now." Wow, congrats Mardhiah.

Quoting from Mashy, " You'll soon know the different levels of FRIENDS." True, I just got to know now. Of course, i know that my best friends are the irreplacable ESS gang who hangs out with me. And i wish to go in depth with MY definition of close friends. To me, Best Friends and Close Friends DO NOT EQUATE. And Close Friends and Friends are totally a different matter. Well, my close friends are the pals who hang out with me in school, the ones i'm always seen with.

2009-11-17T14:25:00.002+08:00

Hola!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got my results yesterday and from my greeting stated above with exclamation marks, you can guess that i promoted. Yeah, for Promos, i got C for geog, B for h1 maths, D for econs (i passed, at last), Sub pass for MLL (typical of me, duh) and E for GP. Yeah, Mashy also got promoted. She only failed her Maths cos the topics were difficult for her (on logarithms and stuff, whaddaya expect?). The rest of my SG promoted and i'm happy for them cos we'll still be together for next year =P.

And i'm going on this immersion trip to M'sia on the... 29 Oct. Yeah, 29 Oct 2009, on Sunday. I'll be going off for 4 days. Yeah, i rrarely been to M'sia btw, only went to Pahang and Genting, and that was when? When i was young and could hardly remember that much except chasing some chickens and throwing stones on the road which was fun to see the lorry jolt when they drove over the stones, hahahaha! So, i'll be looking foward to this trip. I hope it's memorable like the Tanjung Pinang trip.

Ehhh, luckily this week until i dunno when have no ngaji on Sun. It's not like as if i dont like ngaji, it's just that last week, the cik ngaji wanted the 3 of us to hafal something to do with Tajwid, and we dunno what it was. I mean I cannot remember what the cik ngaji told us to hafal. All i know is that she said to hafal this 'thing' in the buku Tajwid she gave Maryam and she will test us the next time we go ngaji. I was like, "okay, okay". Padahal, my sisters and i had no clue on what to hafal. So since the ngaji will tutup until somewhere in late december, hopefully the cik ngaji forget abt this, hahahha!

Adios People!!!

MARDHIAHERE

2009-11-05T09:46:00.002+08:00

HEys, to all my Best Friends!! You all have been nice to me and so i drew this for YOU ALL!!!
HOPE you all LIKE it!!!

I was inspired by FOB's song although the lyrics are about something else.. but seriously, THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES

If only I can reverse time, i'll go back to those moments so that we don't have to go our separate ways

2009-11-05T09:19:00.001+08:00

I hate to say it but
I told you so
Told you if you left that you were goin' be miserable
Guess he don't do it like me,
Or else you wouldn't be,
Runnin back to the past,
It was you that left me
I hate to say it but you know I'm right
Every time you're up you're callin for me late at night
But now that you ain't got me,
Tell me where you goin' be
Cause I can't take you back,
No my heart won't let me

2009-11-02T12:38:00.002+08:00

Hola.. had A level Malay exam just now.. the paper was OKAY.. yeah.. but i didn't quite finish the damn ringkasan.. i mean i did it but i had difficulty cutting down the number of words to 60. How am i supposed to write a ringkasan with 60 words when i given the DAMN Three PARAGRAPHS? Whatever lahhh.. i'm FUCKING fed up alredy.. AND maybe this week i'll get back my papers.. DAMN IT.. confirm i will not do well ..haiyo..i so ENVY my sis cos she got back her results and got DAMN PROMOTED... whatever larr.. so irritated.. haiyo.. BYE!!!

2009-10-27T09:15:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MY PHONE!!!!!!

2009-10-21T12:32:00.001+08:00

2009-10-21T11:38:00.002+08:00

Hola!!! Last Sat, i went to Anis and Sya's house for jalan raya ... okay, not exactly 'jalan raya' cos i was the only one wearing my baju raya =.=.. but is eriously dont mind.. yeah, went to Anis house with Sya and ate ice cream and maggi lol.. then went to Sya's house and finished a bottle of cookies and used her laptop and watched Syurga Cinta.. AND Sya forgot to give me duit raya, HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

Anyway, today finally is the end of my promos.. BUT havent get result yet.. so, cannot be too happy.. yeah.. i bet they arent good AGAIN.. haiz.. and CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS??? Tomoro and FRI, my school's having this hip and happening thing.. and the activities for Pierce house (i'm in that orange house) are cup stacking (don't laugh at me), reggae dancing (everyone would pay me 100 bucks just not to see me dance this) and bowling (i'll bowl people instead of the bowling pins).. yeah, so Mardhiah, enjoy..

Mardhiahere
(smirks)

2009-10-10T09:39:00.002+08:00

I DON'T WANT TO GO HOOOOOMMMMMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like as if i had a choice.. = s

Haiz.....................

2009-10-09T22:07:00.000+08:00

OOOHHH, i LOVE thisVIdEO!!! i hope u like it TOO!!!

2009-10-09T21:45:00.003+08:00

Hola PEOPLE!!! Today i went to school in the morn for econs class, then had maths consultation.. now i know how to do the log thing for MATHS, haha.. Anyway, studied econs Cost of Pdtn.. and did essay on it.. Why do firms expand? Cos they wanna gain Cost and Revenue Advantage..
Cost Adv: Desire to gain EOS, want Low AC blah blah.. Revenue Adv: Monopoly Motive, Natural Monopoly and Reducing Uncertainty.. yay!!! I can remember without refering to my book!!!

Tried to recap globalisation and weathering.. yeah.. i hope i can remember what i've learnt during the exams.. haiz.. incase u're wondering why i'm still blogging and not studying, well, i'm having my study break right now.. hahahaha...

Anyway, to correct certain matters, Sya is okay with her bf already.. at least i think so.. and Maryam, I won't write about yr damn 'relationship' if yr so fussy about it, lol.. okay.. now i'm adios-ing off... ADIOS and again ALL THE BEST, J1 YJCians!!!!!!

Mardhiah HERE

2009-10-08T19:00:00.004+08:00

Hola!! Next Week, it's Promos.. Yeah, currently studying globalisation... doing DRQs and the damn essays.. Tomoro, i studying ECONS.. now, residing at nenek's house cos Mashy want to concentrate on studying..

OH, and so sorry that my blog is under CONSTRUCTION.. yeah, i kinda lost all my links and tagbox, when in the process of changing my blogskins...

OKOK, now i taking break, using mashy's PC she loaned frm her skola.. yeah, adios and all the BEST to YJCians doing promos next week.. It's okay to be STRESSED but not NERVOUS OKAY??? Smile always, PEOPLE!!!!

MARDHIAHERE

2009-10-03T11:39:00.002+08:00

What is with The TASTE???

Yeah.. i dunno what's wrong with my sense of taste yesterday.. Everything i ate tasted horrible.. Or maybe it was the food itself? hahaha.. well, let me tell you

In the morning, before Assembly, i bought 2 chicken nuggets and 2 seaweed chicken cos i was hungry (as usual).. And as i was happily wanting to eat it, sudddenly, something was not right.. the chicken nugget was HARD!!! yeah.. i practically had to yank it off my mouth before using all my energy i've got to try chew it... It was KERAS, man!!! So i just continued eating it, while grimacing everytime i had to take a bite.. hahaha

Then, during econs lesson, Ms Wong was very nice and brought cupcakes for the class.. The cupcakes were very cute and tempting that Aisyah took a pic of hers.. I chose a cupcake with an orange icing on top.. When i tasted it, I felt something was not right AGAIN!! Well, the icing tasted bitter, like PANADOL!!! Man, I was like bleah.. so i scraped off the icing and proceeded to devour the cake part... haiz.. Then i forced Aisyah to taste the icing and she said it tasted normal.. Haiyo..

On my way home, at Tiong Baru Plaza, I stopped by MacDonalds to try the McFlurry KOKO Krunch ice cream.. it cost me 2.70 bucks.. yeah.. so i was happily enjoying the ice cream until i felt something was not RIGHT.. The chocolate in the ice cream tasted horrible!! Not wanting to waste it, I had to suffer eating the damn ice cream..yeah..

In conclusion, everything i tasted yesterday was not RIGHT.. The flavour seemed to be different and i hated it.. Haiyo.. so tell me, Is IT The food? Or is it just ME?? i think it's the latter..hahah

ADIOS!!!!!

MARDHIAHERE :>

2009-10-02T21:00:00.000+08:00

Jalan Raya With YJCs!!!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA, PEOPLE!! So, i went jalan raya with the Malay YJCians yesterday. It was fun :>.. i really enjoyed it!!

Firstly, we went as a big group.. yeah.. i was kinda shy to mingle with the rest (actually, more like awkward).. but after some mingling (Liyana forced us to), it was fun all the way.. and they also came my house.. at first i was afraid that since my house is not as big as theirs, i'll be looked down.. but that was not the case.. and i tortured them into walking all the way from the MRT station to my house ( ESS people, U had the experience).. everyone was friendly and enjoying themselves (in my perspective)..

We started at around 9.30, when we boarded the bus to go to one of the houses.. and I left, together with Dalilah and Liyana, at around 9pm.. Aisyah and Watie went home bfore me, and Syamimi didn't jalan raya with us cos she wanted to study.. Ah, talking about studying, I brought along my Econs Mkt failure notes during the jalan raya.. and i was not the ONLY one.. hahah... sometimes we just gotta sacrifice or be efficient.. anyway, there was Econs test in the morning today.. yeah.. So back to the jalan raya thing, I was the victim of kena kacau throughout the day.. as usual.. and as i said, it was fun for me!! When night time came, most of my friends looked tired.. but you know me, the Mardhiah never feel tired easily.. so i wasn't tired that much and wanted to continue disturbing the rest.. but i was KIND (haha), and didn't disturb them.. hahaha

In conclusion, i collected 20 bucks.. and told ibu to keep it and use it for household purpose.. i seriously don't mind ibu using my money.. yeah, so now, I'm still waiting for the day to jalan raya with my ESSS friends!! I think we can jalan raya after Anis and my promos, which is around 17 OCt.. yeah, i'm gonna be excited again cos get to jalan raya with SYa and Anis!!! I really miss them a lot

Oh yeah, Sya broke up with her bf ( actually, it's the other way around but watever).. yeah, I wish i'm there for her.. haiz.. Anis and Khai are having promos next week, so all the BEST, u GUYS!!!! That's all i gotta type, ADIOS!!!

Mardhiahere :>

2009-09-25T10:23:00.002+08:00

Hola! In a few weeks time, Promos will come. hahah.. anyway, many people have been asking me who is Joe.. Wel.. It's for me to know and for you to find out!! For those who know, keep it to yrself :].. yeah, anyway, I saw Joe in the train on my way to sch today.. He's looking good as usual.. He sat down today.. Well, he usually stands.. but watever..

By the way, I had my H1 Maths CA4 just now on hypo testing and regression lines.. the paper was kinda okay but i'm afraid i made some mistakes.. just hope i pass it.. haiz..

Last night i reached home just in time for solat maghrib.. School seems to end late and i sometimes have to stay back to do PW.. damn the PW.. at home, i did my Econs outline on mkt failure and finally studied for Maths.. I slept at 10.. yeah, it's kinda early but the past few days i've been sleeping late..haiz.. what can i do.. this is JC life for me

Another news, Mashy stead with X.. X is this one JC guy whom i dunno and lazy to know abt him.. yeah.. Maryam also stead with this one guy i also dunno.. yeah.. they seem to have unknown BF.. watever..

Okay, I' finally sending my part for PW to Liyana through yahoo cos the stupid sch comp cannot log in my hotmail.. i was not the only one.. yeah.. okay, ADios and all the best for future endeavours to every one!!!

MARDHIAHERE :]

2009-09-17T19:00:00.000+08:00

Picture Time!!!! >o<

This is my Favourite Band, Fall Out Boy.. i used to like Pete Wentz, the cutest guy in the pic.. but now, he's married.. so yeah

This is my 2nd ex boyfriend.. we broke up when he did that 'Leaving' video.. yeah, i was jealous cos he was rolling on the bed with another girl, man!!! and showing that act to the world lol

This is the band V factory.. yeah, a bunch of hotties!!! but i like the one on the extreme right... so hot!!

This is Colby O' Donis.. yeah, my.. um.. 3rd ex boyfriend.. we broke up.. for no reason.. it was just a summer fling

My another FAVOURITE band!!!! Relient K.. i love the leader, which is the cutie who's starring at you now.. hmmmm, we are still IN THE PROCESS period

This is Simple plan.. look at pierre's hair..so not nice and he's becoming more mature..haiz

This is my no. 1 FAVOURITE BAND!!!

This is my 1st BF, Pierre Bouvier.. actually, he's my ex.. we broke up cos he changed his hairstyle to another emo kind.. and it's kinda.. not nice.. for me? I seriously prefer this one

These are my Close/Best friends, yes, i'm in the pic too...

Sya (right), ME!!! (top right), Anis (left), Dzulaiha (top right)

These are my SISTERS.. yeah.. i'm the eldest but they are taller than me..

From Left: Mashyitah, Me, Maryam

And this.... ME!!! duh.. I went to Marina Barrage with Sya.. Remember: Conserve Water

2009-09-17T16:15:00.000+08:00

Custom Glitter Text

2009-09-17T15:14:00.000+08:00

hello!!!! I know, I know that tomoro is my GP and Mly promo exam.. u'd ask: why you never study?...yeah, i'll study later aft break fast.. if i study now, i will sleep.. yeah.. so All The Best To Those Who Are Taking Their Exams Now or Soon =>

Anyway, seems like i cannot go for the end of year Geog KL trip.. you wanna know why? Cos i don't have partner to go with.. Aisyah supposed to go with me but last minute she can't cos her mum doesn't allow her.. haiz.. the rest of my friends are not going.. And to say that i was really excited for the trip.. I mean we going Batu Caves, man.. it will be fun!!! But man, i don't want to go alone for the trip.. haiz.. must submit form by tomoro.. guess i'll just keep it for momento...

Also, i think u all now that i have a crush on a guy right?? For those who know about this, well, i'm changing the guy's name to Joe.. yeah, so that it's not obvious and i can still talk about him to my friends when he's within hearing distance.. Those who dunno, too bad.. It's for me to know and for you to find out..haha

And yesterday, i met up with Sya at Raffles mrt.. yeah, we talked about everything ranging from her boyfren to my subject combi... haha.. it was fun to meet her, we'll never run out of things to say (most of the time) or never be bored with each other.. yeah, so we kinda walked around and went to the esplanade.. at around 5.45pm, her bf came.. my first impression of him: He looks like a tall pixie.. yeah, he's tall, has high cheekbones and kinda skinny.. no offense, Sya but it's the TRUTH.. and he wears shades even when we were in the shopping mall.. oh, and 1 thing, he's not that sociable, unlike Roy.. When he talked to Sya (only to her, not me), he lowered his voice, sometimes, whisper..yeah.. I mean i respect the 'shy' thing but it's kinda funny..yeah.. so i got bored a little although Sya talked to me and went to explore on my own when they went into the shops.. until Sya saw that i was missing and went to search for me.. haha.. But seriously, in my opinion, he's kinda boring.. for me.. yeah...

So that's all Folks.. oops.. i mean Readers.. hahaha

Custom Glitter Text

2009-09-08T11:44:00.000+08:00

Hola!!! I know that i didn't really blog last month...yeah.. i was too busy..hahaha.. now i'm doing my EOM while blogging at the same time.. it's called multi tasking..and i do it always.. so go to hell to people who say it's not good to multi task.. it seriously depends on waht work u're doing at the same time.. lol..

Haiz.. next fiday is my GP and h1 Malay promo exam.. how fast time passes..yeah.. the rest of the subjects are in october... so Sya, so sorry if i rarely meet you.. i miss you so much but it's hard to find time to meet.. so, i'm sorry, man..

Now Sept hols, while children are busy watching tv and sec sch students busy hanging out with friends, looks like i have to study a lot.. i cannot fail my promos cos i really want to be promoted.. yeah, i even have a timetable for all my subjects..

And, now that u mentioned it, Hari Raya is next Sunday!!! So fast!! ibu's making yummy kuih raya, i can even imagine tasting it now...eh, must tahan nafsu, hehe...Luckily GP and Malay exam is before Hari RAya.. but the rest is during the Hari Raya month itself!!! Haiyo... but i'll be able to jalan raya with my friends as long as it doesn't clash with my revision week...

So to all the people and my good friends out there, please study, and don't be too stress!!! it's not good for yr health!!

Remember my 2009 motto: Don't worry and be Happy!!!!!!!

2009-07-21T14:43:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. I know.. I don't blog regularly.. as what Dalilah said:

I BLOG ONCE OR TWICE A MONTH

SO GO AWAY FOR NOW AND COMEBACK NEXT MONTH

SORRY FOR THE INCOVENIENCE

THANK YOU

BY MARDHIAH MUSTAFFA
STUDENT OF YJC

2009-07-17T08:35:00.000+08:00

My buddies at YJC!!

Right:Dalilah, me, Anisa and Aisyah

Too busy to be TRUE

2009-07-17T08:23:00.000+08:00

Hola!! Finally the block tests are over.. got my results but it aint satifying except for geog.. yeah, i got Sfor h1 maths, h2 MLL, GP..yeah..today get back econs..i know i failed the essay.. yeah.. case study confirm suck.. but i go D for h2 geog.. at last..haha..now, life's kinda busy.. have to study everyday in between breaks at sch cos need to do well for promos.. maybe next week i watching harry potter movie with Anis.. today, ibu going for check up.. just hope she's okay..u know what? sometimes i wish i'm big enough, like my cousin who has graduated frm uni, to help the hsehold financially and physically.. unfortunately, i'm still young to get a good job.. so for now must study hard, so that can help in the future.. the future is still long though.. wonder if there's time to put my family back into place..haha..other than that, everything's fine..

Finally, just wanna say, I miss u guys, ex ESS friends.. and thanks to my YJC buddies who make my day, Syahirah, Khai, Anis and Dzul for being an important part of my life always!!

2009-06-08T11:15:00.000+08:00

Hola!! Can u imagine that time passes very fast?? Yeah, and in a few weeks time, there's the block test, looming over our heads.. yeah, means i have to study hard..and cannot fail..haiz.. anyway, my birthday was fun. i had PW meeting and we went to the SPCA. seriously, the place is kinda small to shelter a lot of animals..then we went to changi airport to discuss our PW tasks. My groupmates all blanja me a burger king meal..thanks u guys.. and on the friday, i met up with Anis and Syahirah.. long time nvr meet them..i miss them..yeah, we went to chinese garden.. it was fun and relaxing.. thanks u guys for the fun day and the prsents. i really appreaciate it.. and of course on my birthday, many people wished me and thanks again to the rest..haha..now i'm doing my PW task.. maybe going to VIVO later with Aisyah and Dalilah.. Adios!!

2009-04-11T13:34:00.000+08:00

hello!! Sorry for the late blog update. Actually, i rarely write on my blog, only if i feel like it. I usually write in my personal diary, that is.

Anyway, life in JC for this week has been interesting. Yeah, full of homeworks and the damn Project Work(PW) as usual. But, it's okay cos this is a part of JC life lol.

Anyway, on Thurs, Syahirah and i went to the marina Barrage. Now i actaully know what it is. It's actually a place where they have water operations in Singapore. The place helps to contribute to Singapore's limited water supply(i dunno how), prevent flooding in our country( that's the purpose of the big walls if u were to go there) and an attraction place( the scenery is quite nice). Yeah, so after going to the marina barrage, Sya and i went to raffles place for sya to solat asar. Then we went to city hall and ate at Long John's Silver. Both of us now love Long John's Silver bcos of the FRIES!!!! it's so DAMN NICE!!! SO DAMN CRISPY!!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man, makes me want to eat there again lol

Anyway, i joined the YJC track and field meet, ya know!!! Sort of sports day in our sec sch..yeah, i joined the 100m girls and javeline lol! i dunno if i can sprint for the 100m(but i think i can), but i just wanna join!! I want to be active in sports too..yeah! for the javeline thing, i joined cos i have done it before in ESSS and would love to try it again! I don't mind losing but i'll try to win too lah

So next week must attend the heats on Thurs and Fri. Must also buy my house tshirt. U know what house i'm in this time? Pierce house..Yes, the houses are all named after roads and expressways. There's Admiralty, Seletar, Canberra, Pierce and one more that i forgot..
Yeah, so my house tee is ORANGE COLOUR!! yes..at least it's a better colour than PURPLE. yeah, in ESSS, i was in venus house so my house tee was purple lol.. of course i was mortified to wear it during sch activities, which i always wear my PE tshirt...
do u notice that in every sch i entered, i'm always in the odd house..dunno wat i mean? well, i'm not always in the PRimary colours House like red, blue, green or yellow.. yeah.. in ESS it was purple house and now in YJ, i'm in orange house..lol

It's okay..i dun mind for now cos orange is an okay colour lol

SOOOOOOOOOOo, Monday sch time..haiz..must do my unfinished MLL hmk and Human Geog hmk...so, BYE!! hope i Pass the Damn Econs test.. >_<

2009-03-25T15:20:00.000+08:00

Hey ya all! As u all noe that i had went to the Bintan Camp last month, i've uploaded pics for ya all to see!!

We were at school waiting for the damn bus to pick us up to go Tanah Merah Ferry terminal. This is me(left) and my friend Charmaine

In the damn bus

in the ferry

The ferry arriving in Bintan!!!

Puttig our bags and preparing for hike

Yeah, i hiked and it was nice =)

My whole CTG made it to the summit!!

Bintan Agrobeach and resort..but we dont stay in the damn resort..we had tents

SOOO, we're finally in the damn bus

2009-03-08T15:36:00.000+08:00

hello to all my friends!!! i miss you all, man... yeah, jc life was quite interesting and busy
of course there's a guy i like at my jc lol.. those who noe don't tell anyone or i'll strangle u!!!

Anyway, jc life is kinda fun..yeah.. manage to make new friends and mix around but the feeling of missing my esss best friends are still there.. but wat can i do? just move on and smile like everyone else.. the noisy mardhiah u used to noe is much more quiter than before and always keeping emotions, memories and whatever she's going through inside herself...yeah..but i'm fine..
i'm happy with the jc, the friends i made and the subjects i took.. i may be busy and tired though but it didn't stop me from going through every single day... but there's still two facts that u noe is still in me: 1) i don't like going home so early(duh) 2) I still talk fast and ppl always complain that they cannot understand wat i'm saying lol..even my YJCian friends..

also, my friends now know something abt me that they found out during the bintan camp..they call me the sneeezing machine..cos i sneezed a lot of times in the damn cold morning aft bathing during the damn camp...yeah.. and they always disturb me that i always like to rush and come early to tutorials and lecture class, ending up to be the first person to reach there..and that i'm so semangat in the work i do..lol.. not my fault..i just dun want to gain a bad reputation..that's all and in case u all dunno, i'm in Interact club..actually i wan to join ODAC(outdoor activity club), but my mum is afraid that i'll sprain my leg or something...lol...

okay...that's the end of my lecture. Class, pls do a report on Mardhiah's JC day and comment. Hand in by next Tues. Thank you

2008-09-19T09:35:00.000+08:00

AAAARGHH!! I'm so fucking fed up!!!!!! Why can't people fix their own life, HUH?? Sometimes i feel like not caring about anyone at all but i can't!! Why do i even have sympathy and Compassion?? Why?? Everyone throw their tantrums at me!! Yeah, and i'm the one who try to be calm and not fight back!! But u guys are the one who are supposed to be calm, okay?? Do you know how hard is it for me to be calm and think of words to solve yr Damn problem while u're pissed off at me for no reason?? it's so damningly IRRITATING!! and if you are fuckingly angry at someone, u may tell me yr situation and not getting fuckingly angry at me!! okay, even if it is my fault, can you pause yr rantings and listen to what i have to fuckingly say?? You guys are lucky that i didn't get SO FUCKINGLY ANGRY with u guys face to face as i don't want to hurt u guys and make myself regret..So, this is only for certain people...bye

2008-08-29T09:12:00.000+08:00

Camiscado
by Panic! at the Disco

The IV and your hospital bed
This was no accident,
This was a therapeutic chain of events,
This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor,
This is the scent of quarantine wings in a hospital,
And it's not so pleasant. And it's not so conventional,
And it sure as hell ain't normal, but we deal, we deal,
The anesthetic never set in and I'm wondering where,
The apathy and urgency is that I thought I phoned in,
No it's not so pleasant, And it's not so conventional,
And it sure as hell ain't normal, But we deal, we deal,

Just sit back, just sit back,
Just sit back, and relax
Just sit back, just sit back
Just sit back, relapse, again

Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid
Sit back, relax

Sit back, relapse again
Can't take the kid from the fight, take the fight from the kid
Just sit back, just sit back,
You're a regular decorated emergency,
You're a regular decorated emergency

2008-08-28T11:21:00.000+08:00

Great Escape
by Boys like Girls

Throw it away
Forget yesterday
We'll make the great escape
We won't hear a word they say
They don't know us anyway
Watch it burn
Let it die
Cause we are finally free tonight

Tonight will change our lives
It's so good to be by your side
But we'll cry
We won't give up the fight
We'll scream loud at the top of our lungs
And they'll think it's just cause were young
And we'll feel so alive

2008-08-28T10:54:00.000+08:00

The only difference between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage
by Panic! at the Disco

Sit tight, I'm gonna need you to keep time
Come on just snap snap snap snap your fingers for me
Good good now we're making some progress
Come on just tap tap tap your toes to the beat

And I believe this may call for a proper introduction
And well, don't you see?
I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue

Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young but desperate for attention
And I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, trophy wives
Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young but desperate for attention
And I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, trophy wives

Applause! Applause! No, wait wait...
Dear studio audience,
I've an announcement to make
It seems the artists these days are not who you think.
So we'll pick back up on that on another page

And I believe this may call for a proper introduction
And well, don't you see?
I'm the narrator, and this is just the prologue

Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young but desperate for attention
And I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, trophy wives
Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young but desperate for attention
And I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, trophy wives

(Intermission)

Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up, you swear to listen
Swear to shake it up... swear to shake it up

Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young but desperate for attention
And I aim to be your eyes
Trophy boys, trophy wives
Swear to shake it up if you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young but desperate for attention

2008-08-28T10:45:00.000+08:00

hello!!
wanna play a game..?
or not..

anyway... i'm starting a new blog writing style for myself!!!
instead of writing down how i feel everyday on my blog, i'm gonna use extracts of song lyrics from songs!
This will allow me to express my own feelings and as a blog friend, u can guess what i'm feeling..
if u don't understand, it's okay..
bye

2008-08-06T09:41:00.000+08:00

hello

Extracts from songs

Metro Station :Shake It

Will you do it like that?
Now, if she does it like this
Now, if she touched like this
Will you do it like that?
Will you touch her right back?
Now, if she touched like this
Now, if she moves like this
Will you touch her right back?
Will you move like that?
Now, if she moves like thisCome on
Will you move it like that?
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Come on
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

Westlife: Best in me

Every day that I'm here with you
I know that it feels right
And I've just got to be near you every day and every night
And you know that we belong together
It just had to be you and me

'Cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That's why I'm by your side, and that's why I love you

Good Charlotte : S.O.S

I've been stranded here and I'm miles away
Making signals hoping they'd save me
I lock myself inside these walls
'Cause out there I'm always wrong
I don't think I'm gonna make it
So while I'm sitting here
On the eve of my defeat
I'll write this letter and hope it saves me

Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening
Listening

I'm lost here
I can't make it on my own
I don't wanna die alone
I'm so scared
Drowning now
Reaching out
Holding on to everything I love
Crying out
Dying now
Need some help

2008-07-31T10:15:00.000+08:00

Some girls are pretty
They think they get everything
But to me,
They're simply irritating
They got the money
Anything they want
Take all the guys
and left us with none

I know this ain't fair (No, No)
But we will soon get there

Chorus:
Hey, Pretty faces!
You go down!
Cos you're all losers
With just your faces
Hey, Pretty faces!
You go down!
Cos we're the winners
And you're the losers
So, we hate you!

Compare us to them
You think they're better
But with their faces
We're more clever
All the geeks and nerds
Losers we may be
We'll do what we want
Just let them see

Every losers won't be left out
We will march and shout

Chorus

2008-07-30T09:47:00.000+08:00

HELLO

THIS IS ANNISAA. MARDHIAH'S FREN.
SHE IS VERY HAPPY BECAUSE SHE GOT A LOTTTT OF FREE PERIODS.

BUT HER FRIEND, MARDHIAH, HAS EVEN MOREEEEEEEE FREE PERIODS TODAY. BECAUSE SHE CLEARED HER DAMMIT POA

LOL

MARDHIAH HERE.
PARDON U GUYS
MY FRIEND TERRORISED MY BLOG

2008-07-28T09:42:00.000+08:00

hello
okay, i change my mind..
bye

wait..

I LOVE THE CALLAHAN BROTHERS TRILOGY BOOK
BY JOANN ROSS

THE STEWART SISTERS TRILOGY IS NICE TOO

I WANT TO VISIT THE BLUE BAYOU!!!!!!!

I WONDER IF THE PLACE REALLY EXIST?

I LOVE FINN, JACK AND NATE CALLLAHAN!!!!!!!!

LOL

U GUYS MUST THINK I'M CRAZY

2008-07-25T09:00:00.000+08:00

Forget You

After all these years
We've been so far
I don't know if
U still remember me
I can't track you
Making me hard
To forget you

Since the day
You made that mark
Right into my heart
For first life
of my life

Chorus:
Will we meet again?
Will our paths be crossed?
Will I recognise you?
Will I see you all alone?
If I do see you,
How will I be feeling?
Should I smile or cry?
I miss you so much
I'm sorry
I can't forget you

Do you know how hard it is
To get you out of my mind?
Every guy I look
Reminds me of you
When every time I think of you
I regret what I've done
Now, I'm trying to move on

Since the day
You made that mark
Right into my heart
For first life
of my life

Chorus

If fate let us be together
We'll meet again
And I can erase you from my mind
Why,
Is this hard,
For me to let you go?
Cos' I know it's because of me

Chorus

Composed by Mardhiah

2008-07-18T09:17:00.000+08:00

To all the people who is not happy with the Fat-Assed Librarian(FAB) in ESSS listen here!!!!!!!!

The FAB has kicked some of us out of the library for nonsensical reasons. I know some of you are not happy with her. Those who don't wish to put your hands into this matter, bloody hell fuck off. Okay, I plan to launch a petition to get a new librarian whose manners is greatly appreciated, unlike the FAB who is very rude to students and report them to the VP when they make little noise. If she can switch on her bloody radio loudly in her bloody office, why can't we make little noise when doing our schoolwork in the library? Don't tell me that we need not help each other's help when we don't know how to do a qn? Also, at the same time, we tend to talk about things that are not related to the subject a little, right? So, people who are with me, I need your support by writing in suggestions to the School Library. You can get the suggestion slip from my friend, write what you dislike about the librarian and put it in the blue suggestion box in the library. I need supporers, guys. The damn FAB just scolded me just because I sometimes talk to my friend when doing schoolwork and wanted to ban me from coming to the library during my free period. Like as if i want to go there but have no choice. Lame sia. It's not like as if i create a commotion there, dammit.

Anyway, Thank you for reading. Lol. FAB Suck to the deepest core. wish her bad luck in future to come

Yours Sincerely,
Sarcastic Critic

Prelims and O levels are coming!!!!!!!

2008-07-16T08:21:00.000+08:00

hello.. it's been a while since my previous entry... yeah..days are becoming more hectic as exams are looming over us like dark, giant clouds. Students are panicking and scrambling to their feet to do their revisions for the prelims and o lvls. Stress and problems begin to build up day by day. However, it's okay, people.. Don't be too swayed away by these problems. They are just obstacles to keep you distracted from your studies. I know that we may need to pay attention to these problems. However, don't let it affect you so much. Remember, let your problems affect you now and your future will be affected. So Don't let it affect you.

2008-07-04T09:12:00.000+08:00

heys..i'm good with my mother now..yeah..we're talking...but now she's in hospital again..

To someone i love:
I'm so devastated that I wasn't there to see you. I don't even have a chance to see you. You didn't get to see the world. You didn't get to see me or the rest of us. She suffered more than I do. She was weak for you that you have to go. CiCi cried in silent tears. However, it's okay. We understand that. I do. You sacrificed yourself for her. She lived, you were gone. I'm so grateful that she's still alive, but sad that you're gone. It's a situation, right?. Only Allah knows what is best for everyone. But I'm fine now. You can move on now. To the place you are supposed to be. The whole family will meet you at akhirat, okay. She and I can meet you there, if Allah permits. She loves you too. The rest loves you too. But remember, I'll always remember you. Though I may sometimes be busy, you still be a part of my heart. Don't worry, I have a big heart and every part of it represents the people I love. I love you as much as I love CiCi and Zarith. I wish I get to see you but it's already fated. It's okay, I'll be fine. I'll miss you and remember you and love you. See you at akhirat, okay. Allah will take care of you, okay. Goodbye, my to-be sibling I never get to see. Kakak Mardhiah loves you.

left me on my own now..

2008-06-27T09:21:00.000+08:00

Fuck..my parents' aren't gonna divorce this 30 june..at least i think so..i must be the most crazy girl on earth that wants her own parents to divorce..but seriously, it's for their own good..Look, my mom is more happier that time when she first divorced..she was happily working and all..I don't blame my father for wanting to come back to us...he's good to me and my sisters..but my mother seems to be the problem..she will find fault in me and my sisters if she were to argue with my father..she will say that it's our fault that we brought our father to her house after the previous divorce..i objected like hell when she told us that she wanted to marry my father back..lol..Now, she's like a zombie..not entirely, i mean..she has mood swings..sometimes she's happy or sad or angry..like right now..she's angry with me..and not talking to me..fuck

i know my mother is also sick..i pity her condition..but at the same time i'm a bit angry that she probably won't be divorcing my father..u might think i'm evil to encourage my parents to divorce..but i'm thinking in the long term..or the future..i want my mother to be happy..and not in the emotional state like right now..even my sisters want my parents to divorce too..i've..we've been through this path which is marrying back after divorcing..and it's a gloomy path for us..i doubt u understand cos u've never experience what i'm experiencing..or maybe u did but your situation is different..

Right now, i'm confused if i want to pity or be angry at her..Now,she's mad at me bcos of..i don't know..i tried to approach her at home but she ignored me instead..fine..if she doesn't want to talk..i won't talk..after all, it serves as a practice for me as i am gonna talk to her when necessary after 30 june..i've tried my part to be nice and reconsider my decison: i will have to make my promise of not talking to her aft 30 june..but now, she's ignoring me..so, i won't be talking to her aft 30 june..

2008-06-03T11:45:00.000+08:00

hello..exams are over but i still have to attend revison classes for o lvls..uh..nice one..banish away, u o lvls!!! watever..ibu and abah still havent divorce..the confirm date is on 30 june..lol..i still dont noe if they want to divorce..i,on the other hand, urge this divorce cos i dont want both party..watever

Bloody Fadzly

2008-04-23T15:48:00.000+08:00

he's so bloody irritating, getting more bastard week by week..urgh..i HATE YOU, FADZLY GUY I MET ONLINE!!!!!!

now, i sound more like Aley in my comic when she said she hated Run
Remember: " I hate you, Ryne Shane!"
for those who read my comic will know

Song of the month

2008-04-22T06:01:00.000+08:00

This song is meant for my mother, NOT SYAHIRAH

Don't open the door

You sat by the window
Rain fell from the sky
Tears rolled down your cheeks
Rememberin the last goodbye

Was he worth it? No
Were you happy? No
Was it your fault? Yes it simply was
What you're gonna do? Dunno
Was he stupid? Yes
See, this is the reason why

Chorus:
When I said
Don't open the door
You didn't listen to what I have to say
When I said
Don't open the door
You welcomed him inside
and was swept by his stupid face
As he beg you to take him back
Now look what you have done
I have to comfort you now, again..
Cos you've broken your heart

You told me he will change
But he's still the same
You said my protests were crap
Now I say that you are lame

Are you gonna cry? No
But are you hurt? Yes
Cos he did treat you like dirt
Now my protests are crap? No
Are you lame? Yes
And love is not just a game..

Chorus

Just break up and let it go
Stiffen up, don't you cry
He's just a jerk that you fell for
And all he said was just a lie

Chorus
oh, oh, Cos you've broken your heart x2
oh, oh, Don't open the door

Composer: Mardhiah
Singer: Mardhiah

Quote

2008-04-21T15:02:00.000+08:00

Forgiveness is not the same as forgetfulness. It's better.

2008-04-14T15:07:00.000+08:00

Yo..at last my parents are divorcing again..rejoice..at least aft the divorce, my family can spend more time like going out..ibu will also be working and we can lead a normal life..hahahas..now, i'm hoping the application for maintainence fees is agreed..my father will have to pay ibu so dat ibu can feed all of us..i hope nothing crops up in the future..The conflict between me and Sya is also over..it was just a small misunderstanding..yeah..soo..now i'm studying and revising my work for the mid years..ireally want to do well..i failed my Physics but i'll try to find my mistakes and improvise it..lol..okays..adios

My wish list

2008-03-04T09:00:00.000+08:00

sorry cos it's been a long time since i updated my blog

This is my wishlist. i'll work on it to achieve my wishes. Those that i can't handle, i'll let nature take its course

-- Bycicle
be it new or second-hand, i want one which i can ride, not short bikes

-- Parents divorce
dispute at home is what i hate..might as well divorce again

--Pore pack
i need this..pronto

--Birthday presents for people of this month
lol..with 3 ppl having their birthdays and outings, i have to save more..oh damn

--Boyfriend
this one is a bit crappy.. but i'll wait..cos i prefer long-term relationship

--see Luqman
i wish i knew how he's doing..but i hope he can recognise me when i see him one day

hawke commented my webby

2008-01-15T15:47:00.000+08:00

aah..he did comment on it..it's on my webby in the guest bk..www.freewebs.com/mysilenttears..linked to my blog..yeah..this is what he wrote

Name: HawkeEmail: hawkehartman@msn.com
IP Address: 71.213.194.213
Date: Mon Nov 27 00:58:07 GMT-12:00 2006
Very cool website! I am impressed. thanks for the story compliments and this site is very nice. The green light at the top adds a nice touch.

Can YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!! yes..i know that he commented long time ago..i admit i'm slow okay..i just found it out today..when i went through my old websites..if u want to view my old websites, u can do so by scrolling down and press the links 'my own webby'

2008-01-03T16:29:00.000+08:00

My new year resolutions:

1] Try not to like someone I don't know

2]Achieve good results, don't slack

3]Don't update info/happenings about yr friends to your parents

4]Instil a good nvr ending relationship with my best friends

5]Remeber to do my hmk all the time

6]Stop trying to run away from home

7]Increase my height

8]save my pocket money

the way i felt

2008-01-03T08:17:00.000+08:00

this is my latest poem

The guy i liked
His name was Azrul
I saw him everyday
He's from my school

He's smart and funny
Cute and cool
I didn't know that
I was such a fool

I thought about him
Almost evryday
The sight of him
Swept me away

School holidays came
And i was pissed
Besides my best friends
It's him i missed

It's N levl result day
Which i can't bear
I was so nervous
My results i care

I saw him there
Wished him good luck
Didn't know later i said
What the fuck

My results were good
Excitement in heart
Me and Syahirah
Went to tampines mart

I was surprised
To see Azrul there
The sight of his girlfriend
Drove me to despair

That moment i saw
It was unexpected
When i thought about it
I was devastated

Breaking my heart
Is what i fear
But now i'm relieved
He'll be in ITE next year

2007-11-13T17:35:00.000+08:00

Hola..
i hope i can pass my n lvls.

lolololol

2007-09-23T03:00:00.000+08:00

heys..long time i nvr blog..hahah..so busy.. n lvls are just two weeks away..yeah..lol..ok..sorry abt my outburst on the previous entry..i was so streessed at that time..ok..i studied this whole week ...i went for the rsl..hahaha it's so fun doing work with yr buddies..now on the weekend..i'm gonna rest for a while..hahaha..lol.. ok..on fri 21 sept..i saw maN in library..ok..i admit i do like him even if he was absent several times..you noe..evr since my mom was married with DB..yeah..she's gone bonkes..always cari pasl dengan me..that's wy i dun like going home so early..i can't study at home..yeah..BAD environment is not gd for yr health..hahaha..yeah..i'd rather stay in sch to study..at least i'm free frm distractions..hahah..not really...my crazy frens always keeps me going..yeah..okay..dunno wat to say..uh..ciao..au revoir..adios..
bye!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-27T11:46:00.000+08:00

i had a dammit bad weekend..u noe the stupid $50 thing?..yeah my sis kena scolding...go to hell..DB let us sumpah(swear) with the quran..crap..we did not take rite?..he said we're a family of thieves..then he thinks he is wat?..he more worse..he have sex with many women...seriously, i hate this idea of my mom go back to DB..lol..but she had her reasons..i was like in the process of accepting him and NOW..i so totally NOT accepting him!!!!...i dun care..i feel like slashing again but the thought of my frens and my mom..changed my thought..i'm gonn read Hawke's story to cheer me up..hawke's a fren of mine in north dakota, usa..hahah

2007-08-25T11:40:00.000+08:00

i so gonna fail maths p2..lol..it sux....my black goldfish died..i feel like crying...my dad accused me and my sisters of taking his dammit $50..lol..he doesn't desrve the title of being called a "dad"..i'll call him DB(dammit bastard)..now he thinks we are lying..oh great..

2007-08-22T11:31:00.000+08:00

i made a poem/song again cos i have nothing better to do:

looking at him
isn't enough
longed for his smile
and his laugh

you are miserable
when he's not there
in the end, it's worthless
it's like as if he cares

what's the use of liking someone
who doesn't like you?
you'll feel dejected and so sad
what's the use of liking someone
who doesn't even care?
you'll be hurt, in the end
so don't like him now

he doesn't bother
you were so sad
what's worse
everything is so bad

papers with his name
you tore them apart
but you realised that
you've hurt your own heart

you fell to the floor
you asked what's life for
you said you hate life
it suck to the core

your heart is broken
he's long forgotten
you hate him now
cos he's different

2007-08-22T11:26:00.000+08:00

azrul, azrul, AZRUL!!!! i'm so fed up okay? one whole day is about him! irritatig..can't my brain get that i'm trying to get him out of my mind?? i'm trying to concentrate on other things..fed up..so lol..wat's the use of liking someone who doesn't even care??
oh great..i've written his name..now everyone will know..heck care

2007-08-21T11:22:00.000+08:00

the rewang thig on saturday made me so tired..so drained out..geog exam is okay..yeah..i can find the stupid ben-q siemens hp battery..how crap..yeah..i saw the mAN..lol..tried to ignore him but 1% success..lol..

my malay exam

2007-08-17T11:20:00.000+08:00

lol..i so gonna fail my malay ppr...oh crap..how crap..i'm so fed up..i'm so not gonn take that language when i grow up

2007-08-03T16:51:00.000+08:00

lol!!! so dammit tired..damn..my parents register at ROM already..yeah..they are gonna marry..can u believe it?!!..what crap

2007-07-27T16:36:00.000+08:00

heys..haha..today i tried not see the MAn and i did it!!!!!!! Mission accomplished!! oh yeah!!.. damn.. my mum is going back to my dad even aft they are divorced..crap seh..i so totally object!!
my mum ignore my rantings!!!dammit!! i seek ms selena yesterday and she told me to just see wat will turn out next..yeah..she said that i must be safe at all costs..and promised not to talk back to my dad..or else i kena belasah lagi..no thks ...i dun wan the beatings again..heck..everyone i my family opposes me now..no one side me at home..luckily i have good friends and a counsellor to console me..yeah..imagine..my mum and dad back together AGAIN...dammit

2007-07-27T15:23:00.000+08:00

LIfe

Life is like a wheel
which spins round and round
It never stop
It's either up or down

When the wheel goes up
Your life is a bit better
Soon, it'll be gone
Cos it doesn't last forever

When the wheel goes down
it means trouble ahead
If you know how to solve it
Your troubles will fade

The wheel keeps on spinning
It has no limit
Life is not complicated
If you know how to tackle it

2007-07-26T15:45:00.000+08:00

FORGET HAWKE, ALLISTOR KENT AND THE PAST GUYS I USED TO LIKE!!!!!
STUDY..!!!!!!
AND START A NEW..

with MAn..uh..jk..=)

2007-07-25T15:52:00.000+08:00

Dammit!!!!!
i blew it!! my oral sux!..i dunno how to speak proper malay..my conversation sux like heck..HECK!!!!!!!......my inability to speak proper malay blew my chance away...so sad..must do better for N lvl mly p1 and p2..damn..yeahh..i saw the damn guy again..damn..okays..MAn is not a damn..nabe!!! someone help my malay! SOS!!!

ps.
the bus i took today is so dammit cold..the bus driver of bus 65 which goes to harbourfront nvr save the earth!!...i so gonna take MRT in time to come..humph!!!

2007-07-24T16:41:00.000+08:00

Wohoooooooo!!!!!!!!!! My eng tcher, the Ms CAI nvr come!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!
i very happy like hell seh! she everytime scald me..so i dun like her..hahaha..

2007-07-24T15:48:00.000+08:00

Hate me today..
Hate me tomorrow..

song:
hate me by blue october

2007-07-20T15:29:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAAAAAAh!!!!!!!!!!
today is much better than yesterday...i went to school with MAn(ok..let's call the a**** guy that name so that he not terasa)..well bascically..not really...i & sya was like going to Tamp. mart this morning when we saw him..We were crossing the zebra crossing..and sya was like talking to me and i was like turning behind..nothing better to do..and i saw MAn walking behind us..not that far behind..a few distance away..yeah..i told sya"Look behind". Sya at first was a bit blur but when i repeated again..she looked behind and was going"OMG"..that's when aft a while..he overtook us..yeah..i think he extra walk fast..he sooooooooo EXTRA..sheesh!

then recess time i saw him again..and he caught me staring..obviously i tore my glance away frm his eyes..i can't refrain myself..dammit..take note, Mardhiah..cannot be too obsessed..hehe...i'm grinning frm ear to ear..

2007-07-19T15:23:00.000+08:00

lol..i saw the dammit cute MRT guy..
yeah..he's a guy i always see on the mrt when i take the first train..
it's been a long time since i see him..
cos i now take 2nd train..the 6.05am train..
so..
i nvr get to see him often..............
but NOW I SEE HIM!!!!!!

2007-07-18T15:43:00.000+08:00

i hate small fonts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-18T15:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i nvr go sch cos i wake up late..not my fault rite?..the damn hp fault..as usual..i'll nvr blame myself..haha..anyway..i created a poem for syahirah..soon i'll create one for annisaa..cos she very extra as usual..hahas..here's the poem-dedicated to Syahirah about her love life:

To like someone
It's a piece of cake
To love someone
Your heart is at stake

Admiring him from far
can be wonderful
When he breaks your heart
it"ll be hurtful

Looking at him alone
your heart skips a beat
Looking at him with his gf
you will feel the defeat

So, to love someone
is the hardest
Cos you're taking a risk
if your heart tears into pieces

2007-07-13T15:53:00.000+08:00

heys..i sad and happy today..

i happy cos i'm always happy..duh..and i saw a**** and the messenger many times seh..
yalah..who not happy when u see yr fav. guy
haha
i also sad because these two manusia are gonna graduate! nabe seh *glum*

haiyo..today the photo taking thing..i dun like..cos my face sux..
lol..
the a**** face very cute seh..tak boleh tahan..wish i can talk to him..haha.........
Green Rox man..shit! i cannot change my blog skin cos don't have the FOB skin..nabe!..so i have to take this simple plan skin..the ex-band i used to like..nabe..

2007-04-27T14:28:00.001+08:00

hello